I have had this quote on my fridge, wall, desktop, and phone..."Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself." It has been my mantra...you must create the life you want. I am sure you can tell from my past posts, and the numerous blocks of silence on this blog, that I have been through a variety of life changes in the past two years. As much as I still believe there is truth in this quote, I am stuck. It feels a bit like writers block. The question I am faced with is once you have created what you think you want, and you find out that it didn't lead you to where you really want to be, what is next?
The only answer I can come up with is reinvention. Sitting with a blank book in front of me contemplating what's next.
Before I can reinvent, there are hard questions that need to be answered. If what I wanted before, didn't lead me to where I want to be now then I assume that I need to ask myself different questions. I'm used to questions like, "where do you want to be in five years." But, I have been so focused on where I want to be in the future that I lost track of what I value on a daily basis, and that's what has lead me here.
Some would argue it is a "mid-life" crisis. I disagree, I think we go through phases of these transformations throughout our lives where we are forced to reinvent ourselves based on our life experiences. They are labeled a "crisis" because there is a sudden realization that we haven't become what we value, and that can cause us to reach for things that we believe will make us happy but in reality it is only a "quick fix." Those quick fixes can be as large as taking a job you aren't passionate about, to jumping into a relationship before we are ready, and they can be as small as buying that expensive pair of shoes or eating an entire pint of ice cream. Do I sound like I am speaking from experience? Here's the thing, quick fixes only delay our happiness.
The question: what are the steps to reinvention? How do I start?
I want to start from a place of gratitude. Gratitude for the amazing experiences I have had, for the people that have crossed my path along the way, and for the time now to re-invent my life.
I remember at the beginning of this journey I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love what seemed to be a million times. One of the final monologues is about the Physics of the Quest - it's a great reminder at times like these.
If you come to this blog for design tips, or design inspiration, I promise that when I am ready there will be lots of that inspiration here. Until then, the inspiration will be coming from an internal place instead of an external place. I have always wanted to be sure that this blog would be a place of authenticity, not just another design blog posting pretty pictures. It isn't about numbers, metrics, or how many "eyeballs" my blog gets. It is about finding inspiration in a variety of ways. If one person reads this, and can relate, doesn't feel alone, or is inspired it is worth it. So, in staying true to that my posts will vary depending on where I am in my own journey. I'll only look back to share stories to shed light on what led me on this personal quest. I hope you'll read along, and share where you are in your own journey.