Monday, July 29, 2013


I have had this quote on my fridge, wall, desktop, and phone..."Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."  It has been my must create the life you want.   I am sure you can tell from my past posts, and the numerous blocks of silence on this blog, that I have been through a variety of life changes in the past two years.  As much as I still believe there is truth in this quote, I am stuck.  It feels a bit like writers block.  The question I am faced with is once you have created what you think you want, and you find out that it didn't lead you to where you really want to be, what is next? 

The only answer I can come up with is reinvention.  Sitting with a blank book in front of me contemplating what's next. 

Before I can reinvent, there are hard questions that need to be answered.  If what I wanted before, didn't lead me to where I want to be now then I assume that I need to ask myself different questions.  I'm used to questions like, "where do you want to be in five years."  But,  I have been so focused on where I want to be in the future that I lost track of what I value on a daily basis, and that's what has lead me here.  

Some would argue it is a "mid-life" crisis.  I disagree, I think we go through phases of these transformations throughout our lives where we are forced to reinvent ourselves based on our life experiences.  They are labeled a "crisis" because there is a sudden realization that we haven't become what we value, and that can cause us to reach for things that we believe will make us happy but in reality it is only a "quick fix."  Those quick fixes can be as large as taking a job you aren't passionate about, to jumping into a relationship before we are ready, and they can be as small as buying that expensive pair of shoes or eating an entire pint of ice cream. Do I sound like I am speaking from experience?  Here's the thing, quick fixes only delay our happiness.  

The question:  what are the steps to reinvention?  How do I start?  

I want to start from a place of gratitude.  Gratitude for the amazing experiences I have had, for the people that have crossed my path along the way, and for the time now to re-invent my life.  

I remember at the beginning of this journey I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love what seemed to be a million times.  One of the final monologues is about the Physics of the Quest - it's a great reminder at times like these.  

If you come to this blog for design tips, or design inspiration, I promise that when I am ready there will be lots of that inspiration here.  Until then, the inspiration will be coming from an internal place instead of an external place.  I have always wanted to be sure that this blog would be a place of authenticity, not just another design blog posting pretty pictures.  It isn't about numbers, metrics, or how many "eyeballs" my blog gets.  It is about finding inspiration in a variety of ways.   If one person reads this, and can relate, doesn't feel alone, or is inspired it is worth it.   So, in staying true to that my posts will vary depending on where I am in my own journey.  I'll only look back to share stories to shed light on what led me on this personal quest.  I hope you'll read along, and share where you are in your own journey.  


Anonymous said...

It is more about being yourself rather than creating a new you.

Jamie said...

I read Eat Pray Love so many times. The book came out about the time of my life getting flipped around. I'm telling you I'm about 7years after that & I'm still feeling aftershocks. Sometimes it's not a crisis but an entire journey. It's tiring and draining and enlightened and inspired. We'll come out better at the end of it. It's worth it. Good luck girl and remember to forgive yourself and always be gentle and kind with yourself.

Adrian Perry said...

I have been feeling the same exact way. Its comforting that someone else is trying to "figure" it out as well, with me. ..... Best of luck.... to US!

Anne said...

The Best Blog I have ever read!. Thank you so much for your honesty. I'm going through the same thing and it is great to know we are not alone. I've been following you for a long time and have enjoyed your journey but the one you are on now is the best. Good luck and this is what life is about...Enjoy the trip!

Jenni Manson said...

Amazing blog today. I felt like you were telling my story. Right now, I find myself stuck too having achieved so much but at times feeling so empty and lost. Looking for the new path and lad I am not alone on this truth seeking journey. Take care

denese said...

love that clip!!!

the "starting from gratitude" really clicked for me when Eckhart Tolle explained gratitude more as acceptance of whatever is than being joyful for what you have. acceptance of the gift and the lesson in wherever you are at the moment... kind of comforting, also knowing that "this too shall pass.'

and, i read this poem when i find myself searching, struggling to figure something out... a reminder to go within .....

Keep your desire turning back within and be patient
Allow the fulfillment to come to you
Gently resist the temptation to chase your dreams into the world
Pursue them instead into your heart
Until they disappear into the Self
...And leave them there...
It may take a little discipline
But be simple, Be kind
Attend to your inner health and happiness
Happiness radiates like the fragrance of a flower
And draws all good things towards you
Allow your love to nourish yourself
As well as others
Do not strain after the needs of life
It is sufficient to be quietly aware of them
In this way life proceeds more naturally and effortlessly
Life is here to enjoy - Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Robin @ Happily Home, After said...

Hi Kelly,

I found your blog via a Google search on "chiang mai fabric" but find your personal quest much more compelling as I also recently awoke to being in the same place of "beginning" myself. I've been so consumed by the business of putting our house back together after a fire 3 years ago that I realized I lost myself in the process; I don't know if it is an issue of reinvention for me or simply reconnecting with myself in an authentic way. Regardless, its a journey, one moment at a time. I find that I must stay in the moment and fully experience it and not really plan for future moments, just wake up with a curiosity of where they day will go. And I also like Tolle's explanation of gratitude as more acceptance of whatever "is"in combination with Pemma Chodrin's not attempting to make things perfect ... haha, but still I search for Chiang Mai ideas, what can I say, I'm flawed but trying to learn :) I'm following along on your journey now and wish you much success. Robin

Anonymous said...

Kelley -- What an incredible blog. I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. I too am on a similar journey and it is reassuring and empowering to know that other smart, bright, caring and creative women are on similar paths. Thank you for your authenticity and talent. You are inspirational in so many ways. Melissa

Tobi Fairley said...

As you know, I have been on a similar journey of self-discovery for a couple of years now. Well actually for more like 5 years. The good news is that it does get easier at times, but it doesn't end. I think that is what the journey is, right? And we forget and think that we want to be at the destination, but that would mean the journey is over and I don't know about you, but I am grateful to still have wonderful years of life ahead of me even if they do seem challenging in the moment. :)

Cheers to your honesty and authenticity. From another creative business woman on the same path of discovery or reinvention, I wish you peace and happiness above all. xoxo, Tobi

Karen Albert said...

Thank you so much Kelley. I just came over from Tobi's. This has made me feel that I am not alone; that very talented and special people go through what I am facing.

My blog supports the arts, artists, designers, authors, architects, etc. This is my passion. There are some days I feel I cannot face the computer; however I know those that depend on me, and keep going!

2013 Artists Series


Kelley, I believe we are constantly thinking five steps ahead. I don't think this is a bad thing. I simply believe we need to put more emphasis on what is happening in the here and now. Taking each day and every moment as it comes and ALWAYS remembering to ask ourselves if this(moment,person, experience, project, etc.) makes us happy. I believe that if we always do the things that truly make us happy, not the things we think will make us happy, or might take us to happy but instead follow through on the things that really make us squeal, give us butterflies, and can't get our happy minds off of then Life will lead us into the right path. Our intended path, not the path we've imagined for ourselves. I hope you find your way. It's never too late to turn around and head in another direction. I think that is what you are doing. I've read your blog for years now and I don't believe you need to reinvent yourself. You seem to be a beautiful, strong woman. That in itself is huge. I think what you are looking to do is find a new path. One that makes sense to the Kelley of today. Simply my opinion, of course. Positive vibes and big hugs your way!

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